Why running around in circles?

Hi there all, how are you doing?  I hope all goes well for you. It has been awhile, but life (again) was interfering big time. And when this happens, i find it difficult to communicate. I hide myself  in dreams. Avoiding the big questions, why am i here? what am i doing here? Why art, drawing, painting? Why bother? Why not? Reading La nausee by Sartre doesn't help, or maybe it does. Perhaps i am an existentialist by heart without knowing it. Maybe i am a misantropic humanist or a humane misantrophe. Probably i am both. Can you tell the difference?  I am a pleaser, i want to be loved by everyone. Please, love me. Please, hate me. No, i am not crazy. I am just questioning all. Looking at all possibilities. I don't wanna scare you.  I do not wanna..........  I am a contradiction. Am i not?

Unexpectedly it was there, crystalclear: the existence suddenly revealed itself to me.  From now on it didn't look harmless anymore. Like the safety of abstract categories. It was the stuff of which things are made, the beet of the tree was formed out of existence. The beet of the tree, the fences of the parc, the seat, the teneous grass of the lawn, all this had disappeared. The diversity of things, their own character was only an illusion, a little varnish. The varnish was gone, what was left were monstrous, weak heaps, chaotic and nude. Of a terrifying, obscene nudity.
Jean Paul Sartre  *  The atrocity  (a free, simple translation by me)

Ahhh well it isn't all dark moods, don't worry. The good news is that everything is okay with my beloved ones and myself. So i keep this in mind, again and again, to chase away the dark moods, that holds me back from enjoying all good things around me.  I feel happy looking at my love and kids, the cats, the garden, my art. And i have made a beginning of a new drawing. A wonderful challenge, because the seize of this drawing is 130 x 145 cm!  As i said a real challenge. I wonder how long it will take before the white paper is filled with my world in a world in a world...... 

DRIVING CIRCLES AROUND ME* The beginning of a large painting: 130 x 145 cm

GET READY

    

So tell me what you think about the drawing so far. Take good care of your beloved ones. Take good care of nature. And of yourself ofcourse!
When the low moon begins to beam
every night i dream a little dream.......

Ready to go

This morning my work for the upcoming exhibition is collected, they were ready to go. I am really excited, trying not to be intimidated, because many of the participants are well known artists, selling their art all over the world. One of the pieces for this exposition has to be sold for 23.000 euros. Gosh, and then there is my work:  small, intimate and leaving an intense feeling i hope. The good thing about these welknown artists is the fact that there will be visitors who wouldn't come for an exhibition with only my name. Not well known (yet). ;-)
I noticed that art has to be BIG these days, BIG seizes, overwhelming techniques. I also see this on the internet: students from art schools with art that intimidate at first sight. Wow! i think, great art, overwhelming and so very clean and strict. I mean the look of it. Clean worlds, sometimes disturbing because of the perfection. That's what i think. It overwhelms me but then.... there it is, i take a closer look, still admiring the perfection of it all. There it is, in all its glory, intimidating perfection and it doesn't move me. It doesn't reach my heart and soul. Oh yeah. it keeps me thinking also. Should i make larger drawings? Flawless drawings? Drawing larger formats is tempting me, because of the challenge. Not because it looks better in a museum (?), trying to ahhhh and oooooh people. But i am also tempted to draw even smaller drawings, as a reaction. Wouldn't it be great: large paintings, installations, drawings everywhere and then a tiny tiny drawing of me. I would hang it a bit low, so people should go down, to take a better look. That's what i dream of right now......

And ofcourse of selling my drawings for enormous prices, so i can take a visit to my overseas artist friends all over the world. ;-)  I was very very busy, but will visit you all soon. Enjoy the rest of the weekend and i wish you a wonderful week full of dreams and challenges.

Malleus maleficarum * Witch hammer

Yesterday i had the house for myself and i decided to start some new drawings. Which shouldn't been difficult in this quiet time. Nobody needing my attention, phone disconnected.... And we have a soft winter, almost like spring or autumn. It was raining outside, i love the rain, a warm cup of tea, my book and pencils.

I haven't draw or paint for awhile and if that takes too long i start feeling very restless. I wanted to draw on the drawing from the post  ´A new canvas´.  But looking at the drawing i didn´t like it. I felt my heart and soul isn´t in this drawing. Maybe i feel different about it in the future and finish this drawing, but for now i reject it. I took my book Dictionary of subjects and symbols in art by James Hall. Great book i think. I randomly opened it, to see what happens. The book opened at the pages about witches. About the book Malleus maleficarum. Written in 1486 by Jacob Sprengers. He wrote about the wicked influences of women. Weak of flesh, women tried to seduce good men to destroy them. Because of this book, because of this malicious Jacob Sprengers lots of strong, smart women were accused of being a witch and murdered. Ofcourse i had read about this book before, but reading this again gave me inpiration, new ideas and thoughts. Just the other day i also had read about women being ´slaughtered´ on the internet. On television we have a daily prominent talkshow in which guests (most men i must say) talk about the news, politics etc. Most women who were guests in this show are humiliated on the internet.  They were called names, threatened to be raped and even threatened to be killed. For sure men also experience this. But there is a difference. Women are not humiliated because of their opinions, but because of their sexe. All comments are about how they look like, about sexual humiliation (slut!) and sexual threads (rape). If women have strong opinions they have to be punished so it seems. Then there is this Italian woman, Lorella Zanardo, who started a protest against Italian television were women looks like bimbos with little clothes on and doing all kinds of humiliating acts. Check out her internet movie Il corpo delle donne. 
So strange how in former days women weren´t allowed to be sexual creatures, and nowadays it seems like women have to be sexual creatures in a vulgar way. But both it's about one common thing: women are not supposed to think and to talk about their opinions. I have nothing against sex or erotica, i have nothing against naked women. I even don´t have something against nastiness. But i do have something against short-sightedness, presenting women as brainless human beings and i do have something against violence against women.

Back to the beginning, feeling restless, wanting to draw. All this information bubbled in my head. I started to draw. I made 3 new drawings. This is a new series: Malleus maleficarum. For now i show you the first 2 drawings in this series. I hope you love them as much as i do. And more of it will come, because i have lots of ideas about it.

AN EMPTY SPACE

Mixed media on paper

STAINS ON MY SOUL

Mixed media on paper

A scream for culture and splash splash kisses

I don't wanna talk about politics on my blog, but for just one time i make an exception. Because our new government (i feel ashamed about this government, it shows the world how intolerable we became) is destroying everything we have build the last hundred years.  Because of the crisis Holland has to cut down expences. Okay, sure, that's how it is, no problem.  But this government has decided that culture (such as theatre, opera, ballet, art) is just a hobby for the elite. Especially the left winged elite. Why should the man of the street has to pay for it? Ofcourse this is bull and very narrowminded and carped but our new government has decided to cut down expences on Culture in a huge way.  Taxes on art and theatre was 6% and will be raised to 19%! Buying art will be more expensive, but a ticket for the cinema will also be much more expensive. All kind of subsidies will be stopped. This means that lots of orchestras will disappear, that theatres has to shut their doors, there will be no projects for children introducing them to art and much much more. And musea will have to raise their prices, so the man of the street who IS interested in art cannot afford a ticket. This decision of the government is unthoughtful and most of all a resentful action to the left  winged politicians who were our government for a long time.

Last saturday 20-11-2010 there were lots of manifestations in many cities of our country and at the end of the day on a certain time, lots and lots of people were screaming. A scream for culture!

*And some famous dutch artists screamed as well.

It is very difficult to make a living on art alone. For me that is anyway. Next to drawing and painting i love  to make collages. With scissors and glue but also on my computer. And i think i'm pretty good at it. I've started a new project named Splash splash kisses (we could swim my little fishes and me) and i made a wonderful logo for it i think.

 Splash splash kisses design

So i have started a shop on Zazzle where i sell more 'commercial' stuff in the form of cards, buttons, bags etc. I have great pleasure in making my poppy images with sometimes a  vintage twist as well. Here you also will find my Organic worlds series.

So now for the fun stuff; some of my designs for splash splash kisses.  Take a look at the shop if you feel like it. I hope you enjoy this as much as i do. :-D 

I wish you all a wonderful week and like Brian i will upload once a week on all tuesdays.  So stay tuned!

Art and meaning

Katherine Treffingers art is beautiful and i find her bright colours and (abstract) landscapes with so many depths very inspiring. As she asked me to answer the question What is the meaning of doing art for you?, a project on her blog, i gladly said yes. It took awhile before i answered this question, but yesterday i send it to her and now you can read my answer on her blog.
It's a great project i think and i'm honoured to take part in this. Tnx Katherine.

Her other blog: Our living dream is also interesting, so bring her a visit.

Selling my soul? Or these mind pearls are worth every dime.

As i mentioned before i am not a business woman. And that's okay 'cause i don't wanna be one. I think most artists find it difficult to sell their art. How can you ask for your art, representing glimpses of your soul, hard cash, nickle dimes or how it is called in the english language. ;-) But what makes the world keep going? Money. And money is dirty they say, poison for the soul. Perhaps, but it's handy when you have to pay the rent.

I used to give my art away for free or trade it for a good meal or music in the form of an elpee. Yeah, that long ago haha. I was a performer and played in different bands and when we had performances that included also a meal, some drinks and a little bit cash. It was great fun and i could manage, so that was alright. But then i became a mother of 2 darling sons and my love and i had to live a more regular life, we needed a more regular income as well. So we had to find a 'normal' job and we did succeed. That was a career switch for me, that turned out to be great because i could also start a study and now i am an occupational therapist in a nursing home. Becoming ill (a chronical muscle disease) was the reason i had to stop working fulltime. Then my hubby loosed his job and for being 52, no diploma's (he's a musician) it's hard to find a new job. And the rent has to be payed, the kids are growing up. So i am thinking of ways to make some extra cash and what am i good in? Yeah, right! I can draw and paint and although i'm insecure about it sometimes, deep in my heart i think that i am pretty good. Raise your hand if you think so too. ;-)

And here i am again at the point where i started this post with; how can i ask such dirty money for the pearls from my mind? But i can, even better, i dare to. But doubting, isn't it too much? People (friends, family) who like my art very much and wanna buy a drawing. I asked 125,= euro's for a drawing. But that's too much. I know it's a lot of money, but i think it's worth it. Every single drawing is unique. And yeah, i know, i'm not famous, i am not a Picasso either, if i was, you had to pay even more darling. Haha. I'm a bit joking about it, but it's difficult. Why is that, that people find it difficult to pay for original art (from an unknown artist)? Also: why do people call artists who don't wanna sell their work upright, as if artists who do sell don't have any integrity? But perhaps i put this too black & white. There's also grey. But this is what i experienced. There has to be a middle way.....

Then i saw on Ebay an artist (whoms work i love very much! > KEEMO) whois selling his art overthere. He's also selling his original work on auction. And i find that a great idea. This makes your art available for many people and they can define their own price they wanna pay. And it keeps me from worrying if my prices are too high, lol.

Also: i think it's more satisfying to have my art in homes where people can watch it and feel joy about it, than that my art is here safe in a drawer. I love all my work, but a drawer is a drawer. And i would be glad to give all my art away for free, i am not a gold digger, but there is the rent again and kids who want to eat.

To make a long story short: you now can bid on Ebay to make an original MOMO LUNA S!gnals drawing yours; Le samoerai.
It's there for 10 days and the last bidder can call him/herself the owner of this drawing. In the future there will be more drawings for auction. I also will auction some drawings on the dutch Ebay where you can bid in euros.

What do you think? Am i loosing my integrity now for you? Do you think i am selling my soul? I am kidding, but not entirely. I really am interested in your opinion.

WANNA TRADE?
Then there is the old trading way i also find nice. Do you wanna trade your cow for 1000 of my apples? I have some trading items for you. Old postcards that i edited into a real Momo Luna item. More of these items also in the future. I upload an item and if you wanna trade it with something of your art, poem or other little pearls let me know in a comment. The first one who comment and offer a fair trade is the one i trade with. So here are three trade items, please let me know if you wanna trade. These are old postcards i edited:

WILD LADY (finds her new home at Ria's, just great!)

THE TORCH
(is on his way to William, that makes me happy.)

BLUE
(I'm very pleased to exchange this blue lady with a pearl from Yvette. )

Tell me what you think, it interests me.

I am a woman

Debrina has a wonderful post about 'the beauty, strength and wonderment that is WOMAN.' And about the pride being an female artist. I can relate to that. But even in those days women have to work twice as hard to convince people that their art is really good. The art world is still dominated by male artists. In music business as well although you would think otherwise because of the many succesful women in the music business. When you are strong and know what you want you soon will be stereotyped as a b***h. It happened to Madonna. I was a singer in a band: there were five members, sometimes six. Two women and three or four men. And as we entered a club to play, it was always like.....ahhhhh so nice a girlband! Because the singer and guitarist were female. This happened ALWAYS. So therefore i don't want to be called a female artist. Because most of the time it means that you're not taken seriously. But it feels ambiguous though 'cause i am proud of being a woman and people who act like ahhhh so nice a girl........ don't mean it in a bad way. I suppose. They are not aware of the sexism in saying that. Don't they?

The guerilla girls are a group of artists who started in 1985 in New york to make people more aware of this situation. And they bring the message in a funny, sarcastic way. They do not only accuse the male/female issue, but it's also about black and white, US and Europe versus the non western world.

'In 1985, The Museum of Modern Art in New York opened an exhibition titled An International Survey of Painting and Sculpture. It was supposed to be an up-to-the minute summary of the most significant contemporary art in the world. Out of 169 artists, only 13 were women. All the artists were white, either from Europe or the US. That was bad enough, but the curator, Kynaston McShine, said any artist who wasn't in the show should rethink “his” career. And that really annoyed a lot of artists because obviously the guy was completely prejudiced. Women demonstrated in front of the museum with the usual placards and picket line. Some of us who attended were irritated that we didn't make any impression on passersby.'

More from the interview and their activities you can read on their website.