The mysterious world of MONICA CROESE


L'Héautontimorouménos * The self-tormentor

In my early twenties, as i started to read the flowers of evil (Les fleurs du mal) of Charles Baudelaire, i became a big fan of him. I was (and am) attracted by the dark beauty of his words which bring emotions as fear, pain, lust, hope, melancholy, loneliness and despair. His words comfort me; i am not the only one struggling with these dark, lonely emotions. His words inspire me also and they linger in my heart and work.

My most favourite poem is L'Héautontimorouménos. Especially because of the last words:

Je suis de mon coeur le vampire,
— Un de ces grands abandonnés
Au rire éternel condamnés
Et qui ne peuvent plus sourire!

I'm the vampire of my own heart
— One of those utter derelicts
Condemned to eternal laughter,
But who can no longer smile!

How beautiful is that? In all its darkness and sadness.
You can find the poem (and some translations in english) here.

Inspired by this intense poem i painted in 1988 a large painting referring to The self-tormentor.
The photographs are not good because of the flashlight. And in real the colors are more rich and vivid and intense. But i want to show them anyway. Soon i'll try to make better pics.

Acrylics on canvas * Height 150 cm * Width 200 cm


The ignorant

The addict

The cry


And for now i'm back to my garden again because of the heat indoors. I don't like heat. I'll pay you all a visit soon, when it's cooler in tha house.

I hope your dreams are full of hope. Keep smiling.


nouvelles couleurs - vienna atelier said...

thank you for this, I Love Les fleurs du mal of Baudelaire... and your picture are so great... so deep.. so suffered

stupendi i quadri

Harnett-Hargrove said...

Even so, it looks as though you have use the primary color very intensely, very potent.
It may be a good time for me, too, to revisit Baudelaire. Thanks. -J

Momo Luna said...

Thank you Laura, les fleurs du mal never bores me. It always brings new insights.
Have a great weekend!

Momo Luna said...

Yes Jayne, i love red very much. ;-)
I'm sure it's worthwhile to revisit Baudelaire.
Enjoy your weekend.....

jbkrost said...

Nice momo!!
compostion is great, love the fact that you worked within a writers story and adapted it to your work

ALeks said...

I just love these,what a power and honesty in them!!
Hugs sweet Luna, :)

aleph said...

what a coincidence, yesterday I was searching for baudelaire´s poems and started re-reading some of them. Your picture is impressive, i feel you captured the sense of "condemned to eternal laughter..." , i also like the dimensions of the canvas, must be impressive to face it.

kathrin said...

have a nice weekend !!! big hugh Kathrin

whitney-anne said...

Dark stuff indeed - a place we've probably all been at one time or another - very powerful painting.

Denise Scaramai said...

beautiful beautiful, beautiful!!
was very well expressed these four figures from the poem ...

and know I keep saying and being my biggest executioner?
bull up virgin ... I want too much of myself! this poem alerted me I'm not only demanding, I'm vampirize ....
oh that's too dangerous!

that's the magic of art, shows us an aspect of a theme and invites us to reflect ... and you turn was inspired by Baudelaire ...

thanks for this alert!

kisses my friend!

Rachel said...

Liebste Monica,

zuerst einmal ein Hurraaaaaaa, dein Büchlein ist daaaaaaaaaaaaa...und meine Freude so riesengroß darüber...Monica, es ist wundervoll und einzigartig...

Vielen LIEBEN DANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mein Herz lacht mit vor Freude!!!!

und diesen Autor mag ich auch sehr, deine Gemälde dazu, einfach genial...

ich drück dich ganz fest und lieb

herzlichst, Rachel

SKIZO said...


Tessa said...

You....your paintings, your words and prose...are beautiful. I must go and look some more and absorb this love and life. How wonderful to meet you here in the magical Land of Blog.

bondearte said...

I can hear the cry of the desperate.
I can feel the needle entering the arm drug addict
I can feel the pain of each figure.
Congratulations, momo
Good Sunday

Momo Luna said...

Thank you JB. Books, poems and music are very often (most of the time) an inspiration for me. I'm happy you like this.

Dank je lieve ALeks, het kon niet anders dan heftig, want Baudelaire's woorden zijn heftig. I love to peel all shields of a personality so that you can see the true spirit.

Thanks dear Aleph,
i also reread his poems once in awhile. The "condemned to eternal laughter..." impressed me very much. And never smile again. Makes it all clear. How delicat and tender a smile is.....

Have a nice weekend too dear Kathrin!

Tnx Whitney-Anne. Yes a place we all know sometimes unfortunately.

Momo Luna said...

Your welcome sweet Denise. And thank you for your lovely comment.

Dear Rachel, a hurrah!!!! at last. I'm so happy and relieved this one has safely find the way to your hime. :-) And i'm happy you like it!
Tnx also for you kind comment about the painting.
Sweet greetz and xxx

Thank you Skizo, see you soon for sure. :-)

Momo Luna said...

Hello Tessa and welcome. How wonderful to meet you as well. :-)
Thank you for commenting, i really appreciate it.

I also wanna welcome all new follow dreamers. Nice to meet you all!

Momo Luna said...

I love your comment a lot Paulo, thank you!
Enjoy your sunday!

Inkpunk Artworks said...


I love it when you surprise us with your paintings! This one is stunning - all of your work is stunning and provokes immediate emotion. Raw emotion - pain, suffering, despair, confusion.

You end the post talking about your garden, and that brings the light right back into it. Maybe I can help with the weeding?

Take care, my good friend,

Woman in a Window said...

I have been by, time and time again Momo, as you have over time been a constant source of kin and solace with Robert, with his photography and writing (my interpretation - not his, as he would be shy of me saying anything at all) but I feel the need to come and tell you how formidable you are as a spirit, as it shows here through your work, how you reveal the vulnerable in each of us, and although at times it might appear dangerous, it is utterly beautiful as well.

thank you for sharing of yourself.


Anonymous said...

wonderful! fabulous interpretation too. i'm a huge Baudelaire fan so this is a real treat.


Willy. said...

Total inside outside omega!!
Grtjs, reality lover.

will-Art said...

Indrukwekkende kunst!

Caio Fernandes said...

fantastic post, Monica .
but this work is incredible ...

Alexiev said...

Good pict...

Best wishes from Buenos Aires...


Proyectos - Illustrations

Alexiev Store - venta de originales

Momo Luna said...

Hi Brian, dear friend, sorry for the late response on your comment. :-s
You're always so kind and supportive.
That would be great, you sitting in my garden, drinking tea, talking about art and nature. We have lots of weeds in our garden haha, so a little help would be fine. But some of the weeds are just lovely with pretty little flowers, so they stay. We like our garden a bit wild. Because my love and i are a bit wild also. ;-)

Sweet greetz and xoxo

Momo Luna said...

Hello Erin and welcome. :-)

sorry for the late response. I really appreciate it when you comment.
How sweet words you write, which make me shy but happy. Yes, i love the poems, stories and photo's of Robert a lot. And i followed at his blog the link to yours. I've visited your blog also for awhile now, but never commented (i think) Because your words make me silent, they're so beautiful that it seems inappropriate to comment somehow. I have the same with the beautiful words of Robert also.
I'm happy you like my work. :-)
And nice meeting you. I think you and Robert are beautiful people and i always enjoy the interaction between you (your poems)

Sweet greetz and xoxo

Momo Luna said...

Hello Monica,
(it's funny to write my own name as a comment to someone else)
i appreciate your comment. And it makes me even more happy that you like the painting as a huge Baudelaire fan, so that means a lot to me.

Thank you Willy! Grtjes van an unseen reality lover. :-D

Dank je wel Will!

Tnx Caio, tnx dear friend!

Thank you so much Alexiev and welcome....

Anonymous said...

tus imágenes me impactan, están cargadas de fuerza!

robynthepaperboy said...

your surrealist works are very intense, which one that you like the most?

Momo Luna said...

Grr the comments i wrote have disappeared. Another try:
Thank you very much la kanija. :-)

Hi there Robyn and welcome.

tnx for commenting. A good question, all my art are my babies so....
But the one who colors my heart the most is the drawing; a little girl, so old in her shoes. And the painting referred to this drawing; A taste of life. These are the most dear to me. :-)

shana goetsch said...

this is very powerful! beautiful!