The mysterious world of MONICA CROESE


Open your eyes, i still beg......

Another edited drawing that turns into a new world. I'm thinking of painting these ones. I got very inspired by editing my drawings, creating new possibilities. For drawings ánd paintings. A world into a world into.... it seems endless. I wish you all a wonderful weekend that seems endless with full of inspiration!
Open your eyes

I still beg......


I swear i didn't mean it

It didn't fit entirely on my scanner, so a tiny bit larger on the bottom. If you click on the picture you get a larger look. Like Caio i complain about the colors, in real the colors are more intense and brighter.
Ink and watercolors on paper  *  29 x 40 cm


The things you don't see

The things you don't see, that's relevant in my life right now. My health isn't good at the moment, i'm mentally fine but frustrated because my body is letting me down. Big time! But you don't see a thing, i'm looking fine. So people don't understand and sometimes rejecting me. Because of the things they don't see, don't understand. Tired? I hear them think... everybody is tired once in awhile, but i wish i could be tired in a healthy way. Not the devouring tiredness i experience right now, not able to do anything at all. A prisoner in my own home. A nice home, but still.
I know i'll survive, that better times with lots of energy is coming again. I've accepted my disease and the physical consequences that comes with it. But i find it difficult to deal with the ignorance of others, feeling guilty all the time. I don't blame them, but it's very frustrating.
This is a reminder to all, including myself. Don't reject other people, because there are always things you don't see.

I also wanna let you know that there are blogs i can't leave a comment on. I don't know why and how i can change that. Know that i am reading and enjoying all blogs i follow.
Fill your days with joy and i wish you all lots of creative energy!

The things you don't see no. 1
The things you don't see no. 2


New post

A new post on Secrets of death....
Click on the picture to get there.


A world of stone

A sentimental journey; forgotten memories and SHOOT! how young i was on those photo's.
Click on the photograph for more.


Lost love

Yes, i did it again. Digitally cut some drawings into pieces, creating new dimensions. About feeling lost and a torned love. For all the confused and broken hearted. Hopefully to bring some consolation....... 



You can buy prints of these and the original drawing here.


The middle of the night

I am a nightowl. I love to draw and paint at night when the world is quiet and everyone else asleep. Where my thoughts and dreams can flow freely without interuption. Are you a nightowl or a morningstar?



Hi there dear blogfriends. Im back on the www and that makes me happy. I missed you all a lot for sure and i soon will pay your blogs a visit. New paintings and drawings i wanna share with you and i am so very curious how you all are doing. I will pop up on your blogs leaving a comment pretty soon. 

This is what i wrote some hours ago. The comment of dear Caio, i just read, made me blush. Am i too distant? But i am not a writer or storyteller. I dont wanna bother you with too much blabla. And yes, i do have a lot to tell, but i find it difficult to write it down in a blog, mostly. And i have some periods that im as closed as an oyster.  But i can tell you ofcourse that i love my new home, it feels good and safe. A house with lots of light. Less room then we used to have but thats good for cleaning up. Getting rid of stuff we really dont need. And i dont miss it so i didnt need it for sure.  But our new home isnt as complete as it was. Our darling red cat Willie Wortel alias Willie Wartaal is missing. For almost three weeks now.  Ofcourse we searched the neighborhood, leaving flyers anywhere. But im still hopefull he will come home soon. I keep my fingers crossed.   

I also can tell you that i feel pessimistic about our world. As if we, the people, are getting more and more angry, intolerant, hateful.That we are destroying our world, myself included and that most people dont seem to care. That all what\s happening in the world is puzzling me, bothering my mind. That i find selfishness, indifference even in my near surroundings.That i dont wanna be fearful and afraid, but i am at times. That i dont wanna bring fear and confusion to my boys but tell them about love and respect for all people. No matter what they come from or believe in. That im happy with the internet for connecting with you, beautiful people, showing me that love and connection is indeed all what matters and that this excist. And didnt i tell you that i have missed you?
I can tell about the frogs and toads in my garden making me happy, that i love to listen to the birds singing. That being aware of the scent of nature > grass and plants after some rain, chasing all dark clouds away.
 And most of all that im happy that all i cant find the words for find a place in my dreams, drawings and paintings. 

PS i cant find the apostrophe on my computer keyboard, very frustrating LOL
Love u Caio


Paint! Busy busy busy......

I had a very busy but very fun weekend. It was my birthday, there was family from Australia, i hadn't seen my sister in law, her hubby and their eldest son for 8 years. I never had met their daughter, my niece in real life. So that was so wonderful! There was also other family and we all had a really great time, swimming, playing games, reading.Today starts the 3 busy busy weeks. Friday i received the keys from my new home and today i was painting, painting, painting. Not on canvas but on walls, ceilings and window and door frames. I wish you all a good week, and soon i will be visiting you all again!



At the moment i'm very busy, within 3 weeks i have to leave my house. When everything is settled i'll visit your wonderful blogs again and leave comments. Take care everybody and enjoy the weekend!


We live in a beautiful world

Because of the heart-rending week and still not feeling well, I have to clear the dark clouds in my head and to get rid of the stones in my stomach. I feel i have to turn the darkness into something good. So i have made the following painting and it's the beginning of a new series: We live in a beautiful world; the pain of growing-up.  To make clear; this isn't the boy i was writing about......



Let's go to the beach.
I'm not so sure about this one, but still i wanna share it with you.
Still in love with pastels at the moment though....


The gate

I never loved to work with pastel, but now i am drawing like a fool with it. It's exciting for finding new possibilities. And i so love the results.  Lately i am very busy as well with organizing stuff; => work, kids and school, kids and puberty and a move very soon. We have to leave our house before may 31. It's a little miracle i find some time for drawing and painting as well. Therefor i am (again or still) very silent on the www, leaving comments etc.. I hope you understand. Especially my special and loyal friends. I'm out of words at the moment, i'm not disinterested, i follow your activities etc.... but i have no words. I am a hermit by heart.  I will leave a mark ( ♥ ) to let you know i'm still here and caring. Deal?
Love to you all! Thanks for your support i really appreciate it a lot!!!



Hello there my loyal blogger friends. Hide is the title of this post because i've just finished a new painting 'Hide'. I am very pleased with it. Also because i have the feeling i'm getting the touch of painting more and more. The feeling i had lost a bit somewhere down the road. 
It also seemed i was hiding too from blogland and the www in general. Maybe i was a little bit, but our computer crashed several times and i couldn't come online or just for a few minutes and then the computer just stopped to start all over. Again and again. Very frustrating, lol.  I will visit you all soon!
Next to painting i also started a new drawing: All the lonely people. My camera doesn't work either so i made the photo's with my cellphone. I hope you can see thru the poor quality. :-s
I welcome all my new friends; hello there! I hope you enjoy my world.......


Curious cat :-D



i search for the moon

In the beginning of this year i told you about new paintings i was working on. Here she is, a new goddess from the FERTILITY series. It was a bit of a struggle in the end, but i am so happy that i made her complete today.
Just like Caio i complain about the colours, because for real the blue is very bright, her hair and body has lots of colors, more than you can see on the screen. And i welcome all my new blogfriends......


Spleen * But now i have my warrior glove

Life is treating me well these days but nevertheless i feel a bit blue and insecure. Especially occuring my work. :-s Wondering why bother, why do i have this urge to create, and worse; feeling insecure about it. And being secure about it at the same time. Pffff split thoughts haha. Driving me crazy.
While feeling blue and all, a package arrived at my door. I knew it would come and i opened it with a heart filled with joy. The package came from the USA. Sweet, wonderful Gabriella had made a beautiful wristee inspired by my art. She posted it as a  puzzle, nobody guessed by whom she was inspired but i saw it immediately. But i didn't dare to guess it right away, seemed so self-sufficient. The story she wrote about this wristee is wonderful. It makes it even more special. I am very happy with it! The wristee is soft and warm, and has beautiful silvercolored beans and button. To bring the warriorfeel that makes strong. And my favourite colors that brings joy. So if i feel blue, insecure or sad again i put on my warrior wristee, play my favourite warrior music and dance, dance, dance! Dear Gabriella, thank you so very much for this gift that brings me so much. And i'm honoured that my art inspired you. 

 I made some drawings: SPLEEN   *  More about spleen you can read here.

It's good to be on the www again. I will pay you all a visit soon! Kisses my darling blogfriends. :-)


Lucky charms, i wish lucky charms for all of you

The new year is now going on for a week and a weekend, so time for a new post. What can i say, i'm a slow starter. But when we Taurus people get a liking for it, we're unstopable. LOL. That's what i wanna do this year for sure: go for it! Being more secure about my qualities. So that at the end all my hard work will be paid off.  It has already started. For being secure about my website building qualities, i now have an order to build a website for a shop. I LOVE to build nice websites.
This new year will be a great year for sure. I have a little helper, a lucky charm. A beautiful gift from Martine, so that will help a lot. Martine had won one of my cards and as a surprise she sended me this sweet angel. Her dress is made of pieces of lace, shiny buttons. I scanned her, but on a computer you can't see all the fine details as for real. Unfortunately. Martine, this sweetheart has a nice place in my bedroom, where i can see her just before i go wandering dreamland.....

Being a slow starter in blogland doesn't mean i'm doing nothing. I'm painting and painting and painting.... YEAY! I'm so anxcious to show you my new work, but i can hold it back this time. So you have to wait till the paintintgs are finished. Because i know when receiving comments before it's finished, will make me confused and lost. Not for drawings, but for paintings it does. And it's a struggle, but a wonderful struggle this time, because i've crossed a line, i now can let go and flow, flow with the painting. And i'm full with new paintings, feeling unstopable, that feels awesome. At the moment the paintings are screaming louder for attention than my drawings. And this time i'm more than happy to give the attention it needs.
During all this painting extasy, i still had the time to make a new drawing as well. But a little bit different than usual. Maybe because of painting, i now had the energy to step out of my comfortzone and trying something else. On artschool we had to draw models with pastels. I didn't like pastels, all my work became smudgy somehow haha. But awhile ago i slightly used pastel in a painting and the result amazed me. So this time i have made a drawing in pastels. I'm not sure about this lady yet, but i'm pleased with her because of what she stands for. Something new; scary but exciting.

Keep the fire

Close up 

I often draw immediately on the paper without a sketch and gom. The figure comes to life while drawing. I'm aware of the sometimes strange proportions and poses. That doesn't bother me at all. If i think the figure is strong enough  i won't change anything at all. ;-) In real the colors are deeper and richer.