The mysterious world of MONICA CROESE


To protect you

Work in progress, not yet finished. Drawing on SCHELDE wood-pulp free smooth cardboard, 250 grs. 65 x 77.5 cm



The not so innocent fool

What can i say? I love to draw a world into a world into.... Another old one. And 'Black birds' is finished, i just have to find a way to get it good on my computer. :-)


Black birds

Ink, pencils & ballpoint on paper. 60 x 90 cm * 35.4 x 23.6"

Oh how excited i am! My creative energy is sizzling, bubbling, floating. This drawing i started some years ago and then it had to rest. Yesterday evening i laid it in front of me and started to draw. I drawed all night long. Went to sleep at 5 o'clock. I will finish this drawing in two, three days. It's a LARGE drawing. The uploads are not so clear but i wanted to share this already with you. I will make a good photograph of it totally when finished.
Thank you all for your comments, it lifts me up. More than you can think.

Dream about new horizons, dream breathlessly.........


Seele brennt! ~*~ My soul is burning!

I love the music from Einstürzende neubauten. Sehr! The lyrics are so dark, raw, mysterious. I think Blixa Bargeld is a genius with words and performance. I had the luck to see them perform in their early years and it was mindblowing. So the painting is all about Blixa Bargeld.

Seele brennt!

Ich bin die umstürzlerische Liebe
der Gegensex
Jeder Tag kostet mich Wunden
dabei bin ich schon jetzt
zerschunden und völlig blutverschmiert

Du fängst im Taxi an zu heulen
bloss weil ich sage
dass ich bei dem Konsum
in zwei Jahren tot bin
Alle Idole müssen sterben (Lachen)

meine Seele brennt
Ich versteck mich, sitz in meinem Loch
und warte auf die Träume, die mich retten (Kommen nicht)
Liebe ist ein Scheiterhaufenauf dem ich langsam aber sicher
von innen her zum Rand verbrenne

Ich hab gekostet
bin zu weit gegangen
werd den Geschmack nicht los
Vielleicht ist nur entzündet
vielleicht ist nur entzündet, was da brennt
An Stelle meiner Seele
an der Stelle meiner Seele
meine Seele brennt!

Einstürzende neubauten


Strange worlds

~ Schizophrenia~

~The flood~
Don't say i didn't warn you, lol. Two other drawings from long, long time ago. I wasn't even on art school. These drawings aren't good at all, but i now find them moving. Seventeen or so was i when i drawed these. I was a young, shy girl then, struggling with strong problems. A dreamer (i still am) dreaming of better times with less anxiety. I find it moving to see how i then drawed my beloved subjects of love, fear, hope, strange worlds etc. A little bit childish, not on my own yet, but already hit by life.
Don't worry, soon i will post also new paintings, 'cause i am painting a lot these days. Sometimes computercrashes aren't that bad at all. ;-)
Dream about love, dream breathlessly.....



These i made on artschool, also a long time ago. You had two or three minutes to draw the model before she changed her pose. That's such fun. So you learn to let it go and leave out the unnessecary things. It'll be great to do again because sometimes i think too much as i paint and that blocks me from what i want to tell.


I pushed an empty babycarriage all over the city

This is a very old drawing, i think i drawed this around 1985. I don't know exactly why, but this quick drawing (a set up for a painting) is very dear to me. I didn't forget this one, but hadn't seen it for years. It was always in my heart. It did perish a bit but I like it even better with the damages and thinking about to put it this way behind glass. Is that strange? I haven't made a painting of it, perhaps this year, but on the other hand, i think it's good how it is now. The title: i pushed...... is from an Yoko Ono song.



The lovely Manon Doyle has a beautiful new year wish for her readers; reconnect with yourself.

At this time my love and i are going thru some hard times with tears and sorrow, but that's okay, this also means growth. As a new year begins i always have this urge to clean, as i feel sad i have this urge too. So can you imagine me now? Can you imagine how clean my house is at the moment? And i am a sloven. While i was cleaning up my working space i find a long forgotten drawing map with long forgotten drawings and paintings, even from artschool. I thought i go thru it to see it all and then throw it away. But i couldn't throw it away, because although all these paintings are not that good, they are filled with lots of memories. And one feeling hit me by surprise: during the thirty years of my journey i have lost myself somewhere. How did that happen? Although the paintings were not so good (sometimes) there is a sparkle in all of them. A sparkle of creativity and life. Luckily i have still that sparkle in my drawings, but in my paintings i have to rediscover it. All your nice comments made me strong enough to paint again (thank you!), but i was unsecure, restless, discontented. I have to find the sparkle, to reconnect with myself. This progress started yesterday and i hope the flame will blaze up and burn. Even stronger and brighter.

I'm afraid this month i will upload my old art. But then you can notice how my art journey started. ;-) Again, thank you for your comments, those also make me grow and i hope to do the same for you in return. And now i show you an old linocut. It's a selfportrait.

Conscious & unconscious