New beginning of a painting.

De granaatappel * The pomegranate

At the moment i am very restless and all i want to do is paint, paint paint! My most favourite time to paint isat night, 'cause then all is quiet, no disturbances. Just me, my painting and some music. But to paint at night isn't possible when you have children ánd work. So i have to find my way during the day. Also i am struggling to find myself again in my paintings. Insecurity blocks sometimes my creative energy. This insecurity i never feel about my drawings. I have to find my goals again, to find my way to express myself with paint and being happy with it. Sometimes i still find myself too neat, as i pointed out before. But i will get there where i wanna be. In time....

This painting i started to paint some years ago, but never had the time and the courage to finish it. But now i've started painting again and can't be stopped so to speak ;-), i finally hope to finish this painting in some days. Sorry for the bad reproduction, i'll ask a good friend of mine to make better pictures in the future. But i wanted to upload this already haha.
It's a large painting; heigth 110 cm and width 130 cm. There's much too see on this painting. I call it the pomegranate. Because of the many symbolic meanings it contains. In a nutshell: The Christian symbolic of the pomegranate is resurrection. In ancient times it stands for fertility. And in the old Greek myths it's all about Persephone and the underworld. I like this one the most by the way. But i mixed all those symbolic meanings together to create my own mythological language. It speaks about good or bad, guilt and innocence, love, hope, fears, blood. All my favourite topics. If you take a good look at my painting you will find many references.

So here are some details of the painting:
Click on the images for a larger view.

Your sun chilled my heart

I checked out if i had uploaded all my approved drawings from 2007 and find out i never posted the following one. I drawed this in a dark period when i found out i was betrayed by someone i loved very much. But hey, that's life, shit happens. ;-) And i grew over it, although there is this little scar on my heart and soul.....

Awards.....

I'm pleased and honoured to receive a special 'The gift of love' award from Rachel. Her poems linger in your thoughts. It's my first award and i appreciate it very much. So thank you sweet Rachel.
Now i have to pass this award on to five other persons and that was a difficult one, because i love all the blogs i visit and that's more than five. Because it's a gift of LOVE award, I grounded my choice on the lights in bloggerland. Here they are:
The first one i pass on to Renee. Her blog is all about love. Love for her family and friends, love for the world we live in and sweet as she is, she also is very caring and interested in fellow bloggers.
The second one i pass on to Manon Doyle. To visit her blog is always very inspiring for me. She's as sparkling as her beautiful art and this special lady shares not only her art with us but also her techniques and other interesting know hows for artists.
The third award i pass on to Ken Flett. Finding his blog on the www was like a treasure to me. His intense art touches me deeply on many levels and in his work and words you can feel his love for life and people.
The fourth award goes to..... Robert Wilson of Appolinaire's tattoo. Because of his deep, beautiful and sometimes sad poems about love. Always makes me longing for more of his melancholic world.
And last but not least: the fifth award goes to Caio A great painter i think. His art touches the soul and he's a very charming man that always supports other bloggers.

I hope you all enjoy your award. It comes from a loving heart. :-)

Organic world

And here are the organic alienated plants! (See post below)


Thorns * Rocket broccet

Moonshine * Deer amoebe
Blood flowers * Metallic

Just insects

Veins * Scared Ohsymph * Eggs
Feather * Flame
Kissing flies * Innocence

Chickfly * Black old sun

The last view days i have been playing with a drawing program and cutted, coloured and manipulated parts of my drawings into strange insects and plants. I am very pleased with them. Tell me, what do you think of these strange worlds?

Struggle

I never stopped drawing when my kids were little, but i couldn't paint for a long time. Just because i was too busy and to paint needs time and concentration. I used to paint very large paintings, but some time ago when i started to paint again i began with small seizes. One step at a time. I showed you the beginning of a painting after one of my favourite drawings, but i can't finish it for some reason. Too scared to destroy it? 'Cause i know that i can go on too long on a painting, to make it more beautiful. But then i hate it 'cause i don't want it to be too beautiful. I don't wanna make neat images, i want it to be more than that. I want to draw the viewer into my world and to let him/her feel it. Not the nice things, but the intensity. The struggles in life. The passion and dreams too. I don't like too neat.

So this is also the struggles of a painter, i think every artist knows what i'm talking about. And when i got too much frustrated i sometimes think that i am not a painter at all, that i am a drawer. Nothing wrong with it anyway. But today i finished a painting and i am satisfied with it! I am so happy! I painted a landscape some time ago and i want it to be in a series of emotional landscapes. So i want to paint a figure in the landscape that express an emotion. But i didn't know exactly how or what. So i let it rest. Today i got inspired and started painting all afternoon. And finished The storm.



Landscape before...


The Storm

Safe in her cocoon

Is she suffering?

I was doubting a bit if i should upload this drawing. Because it's very specific i suppose. And on the other hand it's not thát specific (?) I believe that her private part is abstract. Cough. Sometimes Most of the time i am not aware of the fact that my art can evoke unquiet emotions. That it can weight anything on your mind. Perhaps i should change my blog in 18+ What do you think? Personally i do believe that it cannot harm children to see naked people on photographs or in art. If it's not pornographic. If my sons (10 & 13) see drawings like this, they giggle a bit and then go further with what they're doing. Not that interesting drawing. Besides i'm more shocked on what they see in videoclips, or the violent videogames you have for children. But they're children of their time i suppose.

Because i like this drawing i've decided to place it here. This is also my world. I hope i don't offend someone with this. I am very interested in your opinion. But respectful comments please.

It is impossible to achieve the aim without suffering..........

Garden of trust

Just forget

Encouragement * Gluttonous desires

Her untamable soul
guided her to dark trails.
She was amazed about
her gluttonous desires.
But dreams can fail.
She'll play no longer
hide and seek.
The dreamer
brutally awakened.
And how she learned
that bleeding
accomplish growth.
That pain
allows her
to be her deepest self.

What's behind closed doors.

Pencil, ink & watercolor 10 x 14 cm

About nuns and angels

When i was in my puberty, romantic soul as i was, i dreamed about being a nun. I suppose this grain of seed was planted in my imagination during my childhood. An aunt of mine was a nun, living in a monastery. Once in awhile we visited her, and me and my two sisters wandered thru the old garden while the adults were drinking coffee and talking. This garden was so mysterious. Lots of hidden places where little statues of saints and angels silently dreamed about the heavens. We always were a bit afraid 'cause the nuns who also walked thru the garden were silent and strict. They had on black veils with huge white caps under it, so it was dificult to see their faces, except when you're standing right in front of them. We didn't dare to, we only dared to look at our aunt who was very sweet and somewhat naive.
The big garden was surrounded by an old wall. There was a gardenhouse where the nuns were drinking their tea and far in the back their was a cemetery. The last restplace for all the nuns who lived there. Ofcourse we find that very interesting but spooky. Sometimes we dared to wander till the cemetery and then we thought we could hear the angels singing. After 25 years my aunt decided to leave the monastery. In the late sixties that wasn't that easy. But she managed. When i was about 16 years old and we often visited our somewhat unwordly aunt i find out that the monastery wasn't that peaceful and serene place i thought it was. Struggles for power, gossip etc......

But even today i have a weak spot for the images of nuns and the almost forgotten world they used to live in. So during holidays i wanted to visit the abbey of Montivilliers. Gladly i could convince my three men that it was interesting 'cause they don't share my fascination haha. And then i read a folder about the holy Theresa and her story stuck in my mind. So in the evening when all was quiet, only the sound of the sea, i had to draw her. My image of the holy Theresa.

Devotion Ink & watercolor 10 x 14 cm

For now i leave you with an angelkiss. ;-)
Sweet greetz and take care!

More holiday pictures from my heart

My two sons in skateparc Le Havre


My youngest son on a bunker

Setting sun. View in front of our tent in St. Etienne au mont.

The girl is back!

Hi there dear readers. I'm back for a week or so but hadn't the drift to log in on my computer at once. My vacation was delicious: lots of sunshine and much to see. Because of that i hadn't that much time i thought i had for drawing. The coast of Normandy is so beautiful with it's chalk-cliffs. And the sea has such an amazing color, so different. I've never seen that color before. A light shiny jade green, and the shallow parts is whitish like watery milk. That looks so wonderful.
I tried to catch it on a photograph with my cellphone but it doesn't look like the real thing. Now i know for sure i buy myself a good camera haha.

And i made a drawing of the sea with this special colors.

Ecoute! Can you hear the sea?
Ink and watercolours on paper; 9 x 10 cm

We also visited the beautiful old roman city Boulogne sur mer with such a wonderful cathedral.






Late in the evening as my three men were asleep i finished the day with drawing by gaslight, listening to the French radio. And one evening i felt a bit alienated and a suddenly homesickness came over me.

Homesick
Ink and watercolour on paper; 14 x 9 cm.

I started working again this week, next week my two sons are going to school again and then we are back in our old daily rhytm. That's also fine and i'm looking forward to my favourite season: autumn.
I wish you all a great weekend! Sweet greetz and take care......

Holidays and the beginning of a painting

Tomorrow i'm leaving to France for my holidays. I'm looking forward to make beachwalks, swimming in the Atlantic Ocean, wandering thru old villages, eating croissants, ansjofish and french cheese, drinking red wine while watching the sinking sun and to draw, draw and even more draw 'cause now i have enough time. :-)
I will be away for two weeks or so. Take care you all and enjoy what you're doing....

I leave you with an unfinished painting i started. I paint this after one of my favourite drawings: a little girl, so old in her shoes. I hope to finish it soon enough when i'm home again.

See you.....

Oh sympathy!

Where have you gone?

You don't understand

What if i drown....

in this sea of devotion?

Wicked momma

That obvious

Creative tribute

The most wonderful, creative and funny tribute to Michael Jackson (yeah i know, overkill etc.... but i couldn't resist this one) comes from Studio Brussel. Check out their Eternal moonwalk. And it's interactive, so you also can be creative and make your own idea of a moonwalk.

Comments

I got some mail in which friends pointed out that leaving a comment wasn't possible. I do love comments so it's a pity that not everyone can comment on my posts. So i have changed some set ups. Now anonymus comments are also possible: for those who haven't a blogger account. I would appreciate it if you leave your name in the comment though. :-) And instead of placing the comments under the post i've changed it into a pop-up. I hope it will work out now for everyone. Please, let me know if you can't comment on my blog by sending me a mail.

Sweet greetz,

Keep you from sleep

I'm so happy! Today i started three beginnings for new paintings. And i was very content with it. I always draw, but i hadn't paint for a long time. Somehow it didn't work. That frustrated me so much. I need to paint, it makes me happy. So that's why..... I photographed one unfinished painting and used it to edit it further more on the computer for my graphic work. And there she is, a new icon. 'Keep you from sleep' i call it, although i also came up with 'i don't wanne be a pretty baby'. But i can use them both i suppose. I will upload the (still unfinished) paintings soon also.

As my love saw this image he asked me if it was Michael jackson. :-S That bothered me. A lot haha. Perhaps he thought it because of the overkill of M.J. images, videos etc. lately. And i have to admit there is some resemblance perhaps. But no, it's not him, it's a restless woman who doesn't wanna be the pretty baby the media tries to force us to believe as the only truth about beauty.

Sunday july 5: I loved my new 'no-baby' icon a lot, but since the association of my hubby something changed. My love has cooled down. ; -) But hey that's life.
Please, tell me what you think of her, who keeps you from sleep?

work in progress

I remember

A sudden awareness of the phenomenon

I am/wasn't a huge fan of Michael Jackson. I mean the kind of devoted fan who screams when seeing him or reading everything about him etc... But i like his music a lot and i think he's a genius in performing. The news of his death shocked me and i was suprised that i even shed some tears. Because of his tragic life ánd i realized that his music coloured my younger days. It did although i preferred other music styles. His music touched me somehow. I remember the first time i saw the thriller video; it was so exciting and new. And i even more remember the clip of beat it. Such a yummie clip i thought because of the bad guys in it and they were dancing so sexy. Michael Jackon as radiant centre. He was happy when performing but i always thought his eyes looks so sad on photographs.

Today he's still inspiring musicians and dancers. And the kids of today also know his music. My eldest son, he's 13 now, finds Michael Jackson always a bit scary because of his looks. He wasn't very interested in Michael Jackson. But today there were many Michael Jackson clips on television. We were watching it together. "Oh mum, he really is very cool, isn't he?" "Yes sweety, he is." And i noticed my sons sudden awareness of the phenomenon Michael Jackson. Ofcourse he isn't aware of the scandals around Michael Jackson for the last years and i don't want to disturb him with it. He watched more videos for almost an hour. And i was wondering how it could be that the man who touched so many hearts all over the world died as a very lonely human being.

My son was very impressed by the earthsong video. And i agree with him, it's a beautiful song and a great video. Ofcourse at the end of his life he was a very eccentric man, but hey first stone, holier than the pope etc.... Michael Jackson left the world some wonderful music and i thank him for that.

New blog: secrets of death

I love old cemeteries. To wander there and enjoy the beauty of the old graves and the lovely old statues. Stone angels most of the time. To wonder who all these people were, their lives and dreams. Thinking about life and death. I love the quietness of cemeteries. Their serenity.
Since 2006 i have a(dutch) blog: moonlighted cemetery. But i don't like the provider of that blog any longer. So i am moving all the photographs and poetry to blogger. Take a look into my profile where you can find the url of this blog. I hope you'll enjoy it as much as i do.

Sweet greetz,

I am a woman

Debrina has a wonderful post about 'the beauty, strength and wonderment that is WOMAN.' And about the pride being an female artist. I can relate to that. But even in those days women have to work twice as hard to convince people that their art is really good. The art world is still dominated by male artists. In music business as well although you would think otherwise because of the many succesful women in the music business. When you are strong and know what you want you soon will be stereotyped as a b***h. It happened to Madonna. I was a singer in a band: there were five members, sometimes six. Two women and three or four men. And as we entered a club to play, it was always like.....ahhhhh so nice a girlband! Because the singer and guitarist were female. This happened ALWAYS. So therefore i don't want to be called a female artist. Because most of the time it means that you're not taken seriously. But it feels ambiguous though 'cause i am proud of being a woman and people who act like ahhhh so nice a girl........ don't mean it in a bad way. I suppose. They are not aware of the sexism in saying that. Don't they?

The guerilla girls are a group of artists who started in 1985 in New york to make people more aware of this situation. And they bring the message in a funny, sarcastic way. They do not only accuse the male/female issue, but it's also about black and white, US and Europe versus the non western world.

'In 1985, The Museum of Modern Art in New York opened an exhibition titled An International Survey of Painting and Sculpture. It was supposed to be an up-to-the minute summary of the most significant contemporary art in the world. Out of 169 artists, only 13 were women. All the artists were white, either from Europe or the US. That was bad enough, but the curator, Kynaston McShine, said any artist who wasn't in the show should rethink “his” career. And that really annoyed a lot of artists because obviously the guy was completely prejudiced. Women demonstrated in front of the museum with the usual placards and picket line. Some of us who attended were irritated that we didn't make any impression on passersby.'

More from the interview and their activities you can read on their website.

Savon de Marseille

I also like to post here about the little things in daily life that makes me happy. Let's start with French soap, better known as 'savon de Marseille'. I love it so much as i see all the beautiful colors of this pure soap. And ofcourse the delicat fragrances coming from the soap. Like vanilla, lavender, roses, honey, green lemon, etc....... My favourite is green lemon or lavender. If i smell the soap i feel very happy. And then wrapped in a silky paper. Ofcourse i can buy this soap here in Holland, but most of the time i buy it in France, as i go there for summer holidays. Just because it feels better to buy it there, for no reason at all. This summer i travel to France again and guess what i'll buy there? ;-) Do you also like this soap and what is your favourite fragrance?