De granaatappel * The pomegranate

At the moment i am very restless and all i want to do is paint, paint paint! My most favourite time to paint isat night, 'cause then all is quiet, no disturbances. Just me, my painting and some music. But to paint at night isn't possible when you have children ánd work. So i have to find my way during the day. Also i am struggling to find myself again in my paintings. Insecurity blocks sometimes my creative energy. This insecurity i never feel about my drawings. I have to find my goals again, to find my way to express myself with paint and being happy with it. Sometimes i still find myself too neat, as i pointed out before. But i will get there where i wanna be. In time....

This painting i started to paint some years ago, but never had the time and the courage to finish it. But now i've started painting again and can't be stopped so to speak ;-), i finally hope to finish this painting in some days. Sorry for the bad reproduction, i'll ask a good friend of mine to make better pictures in the future. But i wanted to upload this already haha.
It's a large painting; heigth 110 cm and width 130 cm. There's much too see on this painting. I call it the pomegranate. Because of the many symbolic meanings it contains. In a nutshell: The Christian symbolic of the pomegranate is resurrection. In ancient times it stands for fertility. And in the old Greek myths it's all about Persephone and the underworld. I like this one the most by the way. But i mixed all those symbolic meanings together to create my own mythological language. It speaks about good or bad, guilt and innocence, love, hope, fears, blood. All my favourite topics. If you take a good look at my painting you will find many references.

So here are some details of the painting:
Click on the images for a larger view.

Your sun chilled my heart

I checked out if i had uploaded all my approved drawings from 2007 and find out i never posted the following one. I drawed this in a dark period when i found out i was betrayed by someone i loved very much. But hey, that's life, shit happens. ;-) And i grew over it, although there is this little scar on my heart and soul.....

Awards.....

I'm pleased and honoured to receive a special 'The gift of love' award from Rachel. Her poems linger in your thoughts. It's my first award and i appreciate it very much. So thank you sweet Rachel.
Now i have to pass this award on to five other persons and that was a difficult one, because i love all the blogs i visit and that's more than five. Because it's a gift of LOVE award, I grounded my choice on the lights in bloggerland. Here they are:
The first one i pass on to Renee. Her blog is all about love. Love for her family and friends, love for the world we live in and sweet as she is, she also is very caring and interested in fellow bloggers.
The second one i pass on to Manon Doyle. To visit her blog is always very inspiring for me. She's as sparkling as her beautiful art and this special lady shares not only her art with us but also her techniques and other interesting know hows for artists.
The third award i pass on to Ken Flett. Finding his blog on the www was like a treasure to me. His intense art touches me deeply on many levels and in his work and words you can feel his love for life and people.
The fourth award goes to..... Robert Wilson of Appolinaire's tattoo. Because of his deep, beautiful and sometimes sad poems about love. Always makes me longing for more of his melancholic world.
And last but not least: the fifth award goes to Caio A great painter i think. His art touches the soul and he's a very charming man that always supports other bloggers.

I hope you all enjoy your award. It comes from a loving heart. :-)

Organic world

And here are the organic worlds.......

Thorns

Rocket broccet

Moonshine

Deer amoebe

Bloodflowers

Metal is tough

Just insects

Veins * Scared Ohsymph * Eggs
Feather * Flame
Kissing flies * Innocence

Chickfly * Black old sun

The last view days i have been playing with a drawing program and cutted, coloured and manipulated parts of my drawings into strange insects and plants. I am very pleased with them. Tell me, what do you think of these strange worlds?

Struggle

I never stopped drawing when my kids were little, but i couldn't paint for a long time. Just because i was too busy and to paint needs time and concentration. I used to paint very large paintings, but some time ago when i started to paint again i began with small seizes. One step at a time. I showed you the beginning of a painting after one of my favourite drawings, but i can't finish it for some reason. Too scared to destroy it? 'Cause i know that i can go on too long on a painting, to make it more beautiful. But then i hate it 'cause i don't want it to be too beautiful. I don't wanna make neat images, i want it to be more than that. I want to draw the viewer into my world and to let him/her feel it. Not the nice things, but the intensity. The struggles in life. The passion and dreams too. I don't like too neat.

So this is also the struggles of a painter, i think every artist knows what i'm talking about. And when i got too much frustrated i sometimes think that i am not a painter at all, that i am a drawer. Nothing wrong with it anyway. But today i finished a painting and i am satisfied with it! I am so happy! I painted a landscape some time ago and i want it to be in a series of emotional landscapes. So i want to paint a figure in the landscape that express an emotion. But i didn't know exactly how or what. So i let it rest. Today i got inspired and started painting all afternoon. And finished The storm.



Landscape before...


The Storm

Safe in her cocoon

Is she suffering?

I was doubting a bit if i should upload this drawing. Because it's very specific i suppose. And on the other hand it's not thát specific (?) I believe that her private part is abstract. Cough. Sometimes Most of the time i am not aware of the fact that my art can evoke unquiet emotions. That it can weight anything on your mind. Perhaps i should change my blog in 18+ What do you think? Personally i do believe that it cannot harm children to see naked people on photographs or in art. If it's not pornographic. If my sons (10 & 13) see drawings like this, they giggle a bit and then go further with what they're doing. Not that interesting drawing. Besides i'm more shocked on what they see in videoclips, or the violent videogames you have for children. But they're children of their time i suppose.

Because i like this drawing i've decided to place it here. This is also my world. I hope i don't offend someone with this. I am very interested in your opinion. But respectful comments please.

It is impossible to achieve the aim without suffering..........

Garden of trust

Just forget